Slim Sum

Count your blessings, not your calories.
Vanilla Vodka & Diet Coke;60-120 cals Going out and not sure what to order? Once in a while I’ll post some of my favorite low-calorie drinks. I’d rather drink than eat, and if you puke afterwards, hey you just burned off your lunch. Kidding. No more bitch drinks by the way…full of sugar and full of the worst hangover. Stick to the hard stuff and you’ll be skinny and look more bad-ass. If you go to the places I go, you might as well double the calories. “here’s a tall vodka with a splash of coke!” But once you’re wasted you won’t care if you’re a size 4 or 40. It’s a win win.

Vanilla Vodka & Diet Coke;60-120 cals

Going out and not sure what to order? Once in a while I’ll post some of my favorite low-calorie drinks. I’d rather drink than eat, and if you puke afterwards, hey you just burned off your lunch. Kidding. No more bitch drinks by the way…full of sugar and full of the worst hangover. Stick to the hard stuff and you’ll be skinny and look more bad-ass.

If you go to the places I go, you might as well double the calories. “here’s a tall vodka with a splash of coke!” But once you’re wasted you won’t care if you’re a size 4 or 40. It’s a win win.

Since eating that dry bird day after day is going to get laborious (big word, look it up ladies. If you’re gonna be fat, you need to at least be smart). This is my favorite recipe because it goes with everything; salads, stir fry, etc. My brother who’s cheap as shit and a pretty healthy guy despite usually drinking his body weight in beer and jager. Winner.

Sonny’s Chicken

Ingredients:

-boneless, skinless chicken breast (cosco!)

-1 bottle fat-free italian dressing

Step 1: 

Clean your chicken and what not, place in Tupperware.

Step 2:

Pour dressing over chicken until covered.(I like to let this marinade for at least a day. The longer the better. After 5-7 days, throw it out.)

Step 3:

Slap into a pan on medium/low heat and cover.

Step 4

Cook until it’s not pink on the inside, smart one.

Week 1; Make it your bitch.

Current Weight: 190 lbs (so stoked to reveal that on the interwebs)

With this eating regiment it’s important to go all in the first week. Try to only eat raw veggies, and lots of them. You MUST eat to lose weight. It sounds ridiculous but this is how it works…When you don’t eat on a regular basis your body stores the fat because it’s scared and not sure when you’ll be eating again. When you eat frequent, small meals your body doesn’t have a problem just pushing that shit out, literally and figuratively. Gross.

Tips:

-I like to do my major grocery shopping on Sunday nights. If I run low on items during the week, I’ll just buy as I go!

-Buy new Tupperware! Its motivating when your food is organized and pretty!     (I bought my set at Big Lots for only $15!)

-Throw out shitty food! Out of sight out of Mind!

-Get creative! Look for different flavored fat free dressing or marinades.

-There are so many different salad recipes out there, ignore the dressings and just use the different veggie ingredients!

The Basics; Meals

Meal 1:

-2 glasses warm water

-1 cup fruit

-O&V (I mix it in the water and chug it)

Meal 2:

-veggies

-O&V

Meal 3:

-chicken

-lettuce

-veggies

-Fat free dressing

-O&V (I’ll mix it in my salad)

Meal 4:

-chicken

-veggies

-lettuce

-fat-free dressing

-O&V

Meal 5:

-chicken

-veggies

-O&V

Meal 6:

-A tall glass of shut the eff up. I know its hard, but its gonna be so worth it when you start pooping 5x a day.

*Meals should be 3 hours apart.

*O&V; 1 Tbs Safflower Oil and 1 tsp Apple cider vinegar

*chicken; 6-8oz Veggies/Lettuce; as much as you want

*Don’t forget to drink your water! It helps suppress your appetite.

The Basics; Prep

Okay, so my mother went on this “diet” years ago and lost a lot of weight. I’ve decided to try it, but my way. Heads up, its boring but will make your metabolism as quick as a tattoo on miami ink. Anyways,  Here’s the basics of it…

Eat this:

-Frozen or Fresh Veggies (I prefer mine like my vagina, fresh and raw); broccoli, bell peppers, carrots, tomatoes, garlic, etc.

-Boneless, skinless chicken breasts.

-Fruit; Melon (lowest in sugar and cals), pears, apples

-Fat-free Italian dressing

*You can eat whatever veggies and fruit you want. The key is how much and how frequent you are eating.

Drink this:

-64 oz of water (I add crystal light)

-Apple cider vinegar and Safflower Oil with vitamin E. (This speeds up your metabolism)

I grocery shop anywhere that’s cheap:

-99 cent store (you’ll be pleasantly surprised)

-Trader Joes

-Albertsons, Ralphs, Vons.

This little girl, isn’t so “little” anymore…

I’d like to say this is a “living healthy, eating well” kind of blog. It’s not. My name is Sydney, I’m 22 and overweight like most of the self-indulgent, alcohol drinking girls I know. I actually prefer to eat healthy, but I’m just lazy. My real problem is working out. If someone said, “hey let me shave your head and you’ll be 50 lbs lighter” my response would be “did you bring the clippers?!” But first things first, I’m going to get my eating down to a science working out gradually at first. I know myself, and if i burn out too quick, i’ll give up. I think that’s whats key about “dieting”, finding what works with your lifestyle and personality. Follow me step by step on my weight-loss. There won’t be goals, nor will there be photos of myself each week. Im not gonna show you my fat-ass until you have my skinny ass to compare it to. I’m going to cheat, maybe once in a while, maybe everyday. But I’m not going to give up until I’m happy with my health and body.